I can remember the death of my grandmother back in the eighties like it was yesterday. I was in the midst of one of my biggest regrets - marriage. Ex didn’t even want to come to the funeral. My grandma had been in failing health for a while, but she could have still kept on going for another few years had she chosen to. Most of us agree, though, that she resigned herself to her fate and went on her own terms. She left behind just enough religious jewelry to pay her final expenses, and that was that.

My mother had to go without a lot of things when she was working two jobs and going to school. The thing we missed most as kids is the food. We had to go without food sometimes, but more often than not, we just ended up with cheap processed food like hot dog chunks over stale Kraft macaroni and cheese. Sometimes she got a day off and we got lucky enough to be treated to some pork chops. Since she cooked them southern style, she had to ask Kiwanis for some used cisco just to grease the pan.

All my life, I have been haunted by a host of allergies that make my eyes swell nearly shut and itch like crazy. Chief among these allergies is cat hair. I am so bothered by cat dander that I can no longer go to my brother’s house for poker night. One time, I ended up sleeping on the couch which also doubled as the cat bed. Not only did I roll over onto a cat and squish it, I also woke up majorly congested with a red area about my body where the hapless cat spent its final moments.

When I was installing a home theater like Tony Soprano in my one bedroom apartment, many things did not cross my mind. Primarily, I did not think about the absurdity of adding a home theater to a one bedroom apartment. Then, I realized that I have no friends. Worst of all, I didn’t even think about the home theater carpet, so the first time I spill popcorn or diet Pepsi on the floor, it’s a stain for life. I really should think things through before starting new projects.

In a few months once I graduate from my classes, I will never be crawling on the floors of grocery stores again. I sustained many knee injuries from all the crawling and straining. Besides big calluses on my knees, I also sustained a torn paella and other permanent walking disabilities. I guess I can live with them in the serene setting of a doctor’s office, especially after I get my PA degree.