I went to another baseball game with Jamie the other day. Jessica was going to come, but had to work extra at the pharmacy. So it was just me and that boy, going up there to see the Devil Rays and the Athletics. The Devil Rays got off to a poor start, but started chipping away at the lead. I got up to get a Sting Em Dog, just to see what it is. Turns out, it is just a chili dog with cheese and onions. It was good, but for $5 I wanted more. At least it was a Hebrew National hot dog and not one of those cardboard chicken dogs that taste like Slim Jims…

I would expect something like this out of my daughter Jessica - the airhead. However, when I heard it coming from my distant cousin Megan, well, my jaw hit the floor. She works at the donut shop - Dream job, I know right? Anyway, they must not teach you anything at those corporate donut places. She brought out a box of freebies, and she gave me what she said was an Eclair. I just stood there, wide eyed. Doesn’t she know the difference between an eclair and a long john? An eclair is a delicate pastry and a long john is a donut! What is our country coming to?

Well, it appears I will have to go back to work soon. I kind of wish my foot would get infected again just so I could sit here and collect these $600 checks every week. Oh, well. I think they are going to fire me, anyway. I tried to call Debbie at the office about getting the release from the doctor to go back to work, and realized my phone had been turned off. Hopefully, they don’t come take my car, because it’s the only one I have and I cherish that gas card. Never pay for gas or maintenance. We’ll see what happens, I have my lawyer on speed dial.

I remember back in the day, before my ex-wife Kim left me and ruined my credit, we had this house in the middle of nowhere. I built it from the ground up with my bare hands for $20,000. Then, once she moved, she sold it for $150,000. Am I resentful? Not at all. I can remember that house being broken into constantly. The neat thing about that is when the crooks broke in and took an old TV that cost $300, that same three hundred bucks bought an even better, bigger TV. Every year it seemed like I improved my household through the insurance coompany

I just heard this story on the news about the cops killing somebody… Some crazy guy in the poor part of town who was out of town. Look, I used to be a cop. During my time as a cop, I only pulled a gun on one person, because they had a gun in their seat. That is, they had an M16 turrent outside the passenger window. Needless to say, it was pretty simple for me to see it when I was trying to direct traffic. It was the early 90s and Rambo was still big…. I was a cop and had a family, and all my body parts. God those were glory days…