Well, I went to the first game of the hockey playoffs. The Tampa Bay Lightning won, so of course I’m happy about that. Jamie was on point - at the beginning of the second period, he predicted Richards would score, assisted by St. Louis. OK, so maybe not the most prophetic, but it came true. He has done that several times, and I want to know how. If that blasphemous little pothead gets to have psychic powers, I want them too. Imagine it - making money to sit on my butt. A lot like I’m doing now, except I’d have to get a crystal ball and funny hat.

Sup kids? Here is the Kenneth Brock diet. Ready? Alright, here goes. Follow these nutritional instructions for a healthier and happier you. Let us begin.

Eat anything you want, however much of it you want. If you get to the point where you can no longer get out of bed or walk without a wheelchair, then you weigh too much. It is at this point you should start exercising, or at the very least you should probably think about having 3 pizzas for dinner instead of six.

That’s right, DisneyQuest gets five stars from Brock. I went up there a few years ago with my son Jeremy, who has since become a loser. Anyway, we built this virtual roller coaster, right? The kind that you lay down track and get to ride it in a simulator? Right. Well, we built one that was so crazy they rated it as five stars, meaning no one would ride it… but we did. It was a good time. I wish my son were still around to hang out, I get tired of Jessica, she’s just ignorant. I love my kids.

Does anyone here watch the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? Probably not. The team is in the middle of three major cities, and still can’t get anyone out to the ballpark. I digress. No one’s gonna keep going to these games if the bullpen keeps blowing it every single time. Look how many lousy pitchers Joe Maddon keeps bringing in! After the previous guy pitched to two batters! You can’t tell me he’s tired. Camp blew another one for us, what a surprise. We’d be in first place now if not for tha bullpen, I mean we’re scoring runs!

I am trying to decide where to burn my airplane tickets. I got these before I went in the hospital to go to Reno, but obviously that didn’t pan out. I was talking to Jamie today and I mentioned St. Louis. I have always wanted to go there for their famous, delicious ribs as well as that big old arch. I would also like to visit the Cardinals stadium, I heard it’s a pretty good ballpark. He suggested Chicago because there is more to see there and it has two ballparks to go to… Either way, it’s probably far on the horizon.